He'd Also Sacrifice the Skutters

After returning from a negotiation, we update the sergeant of the fort with our progress, after which he invites us to share a game of Conquest with him. Conquest is a strategy game where players pit their wits as commanders against each other, as well as test out actual strategies in a vague representation of a simulation. Sure, why not.

The board is laid out to represent the nations, the troops positioned as they are currently known to be. There is, after all, a war being waged. The sergeant takes his turn and rolls the dice. He is being opposed by Salvador, who is playing our side not for any tactical advantage but because he is the only person who knows how to roll dice. His first turn rolls him a natural 20.

The sergeant's forces are pushed back a little. He adjusts and makes a new roll. Salvador does the same and, would you believe it, another 20! The sergeant's forces are taking some punishment now, but it's not the end of the encounter. He makes his move, takes his roll. Salvador rolls a third natural 20!

This is starting to look bad. Not for the sergeant, who has pretty much already lost, but for us. We're really not looking forward to Salvador mistaking this fluke for gaming prowess, and his recounting a story of an epic victory to us at any opportunity, in true Arnold Rimmer fashion.

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