Archive for the 'Dungeons & Dragons' Category

Technically Not a Lie

Thursday, June 7th, 2018

We're in the sewers, feeling at home. A little girl is rather more desperate to get out of here, though, which has something to do with a sewer monster somewhere around here. 'You will protect me, won't you? You won't let the creature eat me like it did Timmy, will you?' 'I won't let it, […]

Same as it Ever Was

Friday, June 1st, 2018

'Hail, travellers! What are you doing here? I thought the mayor had closed the town.' 'Oh, he has. We sneaked in.' 'Well, I hope you know what you're doing.' 'Ha ha ha, nope!'

Plus They Live by the Sea

Thursday, May 10th, 2018

We are trying to find food after being shipwrecked. On encountering a village by the coast, we enquire as to what they have on offer. Not much, it seems. 'Only fish? Are you getting enough vitamin C?' 'Vitamin what?' 'C.' 'Vitamin what?' 'C.' 'Vitamin what?' 'I really can't believe that you have no concept of […]

Must Be a Halfling Thing

Thursday, May 3rd, 2018

We meet a tradesperson on the road. 'Good day, what are you selling?' 'I trade in dyes!' 'Oh, that's a coincidence, as we deal in dies too. That's a peculiar conjugation though.'

I Imagine You're Right

Thursday, August 17th, 2017

'Can we see the god through the portal?' 'It's just shimmering light at the moment. It's like the opening of a wormhole.' 'That doesn't help. I've not actually seen any wormholes.' 'Use your imagination.' 'Okay, in my imagination the opening of a wormhole is like a full-blown IMAX experience. We see the god in amazing […]

Spoiler: Not the Room We First Thought

Thursday, August 17th, 2017

'Which way does the door open?' 'It opens in to the room.' '... which room?'

It Just Stops Being a Skill Check

Thursday, July 27th, 2017

We were at the bottom of a structure and got to the top quickly thanks to dimension door and fly spells. Now we're at the top of the structure and want to get to the bottom quickly, but have no more spells. Luckily, there's a crane just sitting there, with a rope leading all the […]

Well, You Heard Him, GM

Thursday, July 20th, 2017

Thinking we're doing well to bypass a swathe of guards by using dimension door and fly spells gets turned around when previously unspotted pteradons start swooping down on us. At least they're being ridden, and our monk is still flying. The monk starts flying between the pteradons, and rather than fight the riders directly he […]

Let's Hope We Don't Have to Do it Soon

Thursday, July 20th, 2017

'I'm not sure what the rules are for breathing.'

I'm Adding These Skills to my Character Description

Thursday, June 29th, 2017

'In the room, sacks lie on the ground, along with a broken bookcase. What you notice, though, is a hole 4 feet high, 3 feet wide has been smashed through the south wall.' 'Neat. I apparently have a keen eye for dimensions.' [A little later] 'You ascend the stairs and go up 20 feet.' 'I […]