Metamorphosis

14th May 2015

'From the other end of the room you see Gowan for the first time after he evaded you through the portal to this swamp, and he's changed since the last time you saw him.'

'Has he grown a moustache?'

'No, he's changed. He's out of his bone armour and in a smoking jacket and slippers.'

Tell Me Something I Don't Know

14th May 2015

'Your lack of knowledge in arcana tells you that this rotting head of a black dragon has been lying here for a few weeks.'

'Our lack of knowledge tells us this? I should be ignorant in more subjects.'

Finally Seeing it From Our Perspective

14th May 2015

'I was looking at my character sheet after levelling-up and thinking 'what have I done now?!''

We Have the Time

21st April 2015

A storm is blowing, gradually increasing in intensity, almost unnaturally so. The wind is blasting us, and we have a short bridge to cross where waves are intermittently crashing over it.

'One effect of Indominatability's Bane means we are not affected by the strong winds, but I'm not sure about waves.'

'Waves aren't wind, Thrak.'

'No no, let him work it out on his own.'

Percussive Sting

21st April 2015

'I fear I have some grave news.'

<drum roll>

'Sal, you don't give a drum roll for grave news.'

'I know, but I didn't have a way to make a dun-dun-DUNNNN sound.'

Someone Has To

2nd April 2015

We encounter some hags in a swamp. This can't go well for us, but let's see how much we can make it worse.

Duncan the harrier faces up to the large hag, and starts to use his increased movement to build up some defensive manoeuvres. But he pauses.

'I have all of these cool harrier abilities, letting me move freely around the battlefield and making me harder to hit when doing so, but I haven't done a full-round attack yet. Let's do that.'

Duncan stands toe-to-toe with the hag, swinging his scythe viciously backwards and forwards with impressive intent!

*swish*
*swish*

'Great. Now I'm standing next to a large, uninjured hag without my boosted armour class. Why do I listen to myself?'

Rolling Intensifies

2nd April 2015

'This is the part of the adventure where you guys really need to focus on making some saving throws.'

'And by 'focus on', you mean 'roll a D20 as usual'?'

'Yes. But really focus on it.'

He Really Doesn't Like His Animal Companions

19th March 2015

'I was thinking about taking the 'cremate familiar' feat.'

Being Prepared Guarantees Nothing

19th March 2015

On the demi-plane between the planes of fire and water, we sense we are nearing the final encounter. We have checked one place where the villain might be and he wasn't there. There is just one more place to check.

'Let's use these scrolls of resist energy before going through these double doors', says Boycey. 'There seems little point in wasting them, and now is probably the best time.'

We agree, and use the scrolls to cast resist energy on each of us, choosing fire as the energy to be resisted. It's not a difficult choice when on this demi-plane, particularly as water isn't an energy type. 'Okay, let's make an entrance.'

'You open the doors, and...'

'We explode! Ha ha!'

'...you kinda do.'

'I was joking! It was a joke!'

'Not a funny one, Aramil.'

A burst of fire envelopes us as the doors open. 'What a great leader we have! Good job on suggesting the scrolls, Boycey', says Boycey, and in his moment of hubris forgets to dodge, failing his reflex saving throw and getting fully engulfed by the fireball.

Before us stands the villain, holding a necklace of fireballs missing its most expensive bead. An extended surprise round continues with him monologuing, an NPC class feature, apparently. His little, self-promotional speech ends with, 'I will let you choose whether to burn or drown!'

'Burn, please!'

Finding Batman

26th February 2015

'Inside the chest is a staff.'

'How many?'

'Um, just the one.'

'That's a small staff. Maybe he only needs a butler.'