Cry Fowl

2nd August 2018

'The mayor gives you but a paltry reward.'

'That's okay, I like chicken.'

This Encounter May Be More Challenging

26th July 2018

'Coming towards you is a man-shark! It's bigger and meaner-looking than the one you saw in the village!'

'To be fair, the one in the village was already dead.'

A Surprise to be Sure

12th July 2018

Moving around to a different side of the sewer has us approaching a different boss with their own faction of goblins. We're pretty sure they have their own small goblin army, because we've spotted some of them hiding in the rubble ahead of us.

'Can I take a shot at them, take them by surprise?'

'They're waiting to ambush you. They know you're there.'

'But they don't know that we know they're there.'

Idea versus Implementation

5th July 2018

We meet the notorious Slimy Jack, in his throne room. He is missing an arm, sort of, having an octopus tentacle in its place, and has quite a retinue of mutated goblins. 'Adventurers! Come in, come in. Sit down.'

'He seems nice enough.'

'I'm thinking about firing an arrow clear across the room, piercing him and pinning him to the wall, and taking over the place.'

'It's a good plan, and would be quite spectacular, but I feel like I should remind you that you just missed a goblin at 10 feet.'

A Poopy Solution

25th June 2018

We find a young girl in the sewer, who we learn has been separated from her mother. Quite what her mum was doing down here with her daughter we can't say, and we don't know where she is anyway.

The girl is from the town which is two days' away from the exit, and we can't really take her there without abandoning our mission to find the source of the fish fever hitting the village. We can't really take her to the village either, and not just because of the fish fever, we may not have time to trek all the way to the exit and back again. We suppose we have to take her with us.

We press on. As we head further in to the sewers, we hear some clanking noises ahead, much like the sounds of a sluice gate opening. Sure enough, a wave of poo comes our way. We brace ourselves and shelter the girl as much as possible, and although we are able to withstand the force of the stinky water hitting us, the girl loses her grip and is swept away, presumably towards the sewer exit.

'Well, that problem's sorted itself out.'

Technically Not a Lie

7th June 2018

We're in the sewers, feeling at home. A little girl is rather more desperate to get out of here, though, which has something to do with a sewer monster somewhere around here. 'You will protect me, won't you? You won't let the creature eat me like it did Timmy, will you?'

'I won't let it, no, no.'

Same as it Ever Was

1st June 2018

'Hail, travellers! What are you doing here? I thought the mayor had closed the town.'

'Oh, he has. We sneaked in.'

'Well, I hope you know what you're doing.'

'Ha ha ha, nope!'

Plus They Live by the Sea

10th May 2018

We are trying to find food after being shipwrecked. On encountering a village by the coast, we enquire as to what they have on offer. Not much, it seems. 'Only fish? Are you getting enough vitamin C?'

'Vitamin what?'

'C.'

'Vitamin what?'

'C.'

'Vitamin what?'

'I really can't believe that you have no concept of the letter C but are okay with vitamins.'

Must Be a Halfling Thing

3rd May 2018

We meet a tradesperson on the road. 'Good day, what are you selling?'

'I trade in dyes!'

'Oh, that's a coincidence, as we deal in dies too. That's a peculiar conjugation though.'

Where Will We Holiday?

25th January 2018

The equipment that the Nazis set up created some weird distortion effect, that we somehow decided was a good idea to walk in to. That took us, somewhat implausibly, to the Lost City of Atlantis, but probably before it got its full title and was simply known as Atlantis.

The Nazis' plan is interesting. They have, by whatever means, managed to travel back in time so that they can recover the final artefacts that they need but we have, so that they can have them and prevent us from finding them. You'd think they'd be more imaginative with portal through time and space, but here we are.

What the Nazis haven't quite worked out, or perhaps don't really care about, is that by taking Atlantis's artefacts, they are opening the city up to attack from precisely what the artefacts are there to defend. In this case, it is a Great Old One, Shudde Mell, who rises as the artefacts are being stolen and looks to be destroying the city with the kind of efficiency that surely would be admired, were other plans not afoot.

We are there too, witnessing Atlantis as a living city, and Atlantis as a city being destroyed. 'Is this how time is meant to happen originally? Or are the Nazis changing history? Are we going to return to the present and find things radically different?'

'You mean, like, we'll learn that the mythical Lost City of Atlantis no longer exists? I don't know how we'll cope.'