Maybe a Silent Image Would Help

21st February 2019

Our barbarian has been poisoned, which is causing him some consternation, not least of which because 'we don't even know how the poison has been administered', making it difficult to avoid repeated doses.

'Up the bumhole, I imagine.'

'I think I would have noticed that.'

'I'm not saying that's what happened, I am just imagining it.'

And the Plot Moves on

24th January 2019

The great feast is interrupted with an assassination attempt on the Dwarf King. We foil it, of course, but 'This just confirms that there is something stirring in the Underdark', says the King, 'something that we will have to deal with.'

'I hope that's the royal 'we'.'

What Goes Around

24th January 2019

After an initial audience with the Dwarf King, we are invited as guests to a great feast. When everyone is seated, we are asked to introduce ourselves.

'I am', I say, casting Thaumaturgy to make my voice boom, 'Charmandrathrax', pausing for effect and casting a second Thaumaturgy to cause some ground tremors, 'The Combustrous—' A Golem smacks me off my chair before I am able to finish.

'Oh, I'm terrible sorry', says the Golem's owner, 'I'm afraid he registered you as a threat.' Well, finally.

'Pay it no mind, sir', I say. 'And may I enquire as to who you are?'

'Of course. I am...'

As he starts to speak, I say sotto voce to our barbarian, 'get ready to punch him'.

The Fantasy Equivalent of Light Reading

24th January 2019

We are invited to see the Dwarf King, and are led to his throne room where he greets us. 'We have heard of your exploits. Please share your tales with me. There have been great rumblings, down in the depths.'

'Um, what kind of 'throne' is he sitting on exactly?'

Here's the Thing...

10th January 2019

The party splits up, heading in two directions to two different cities, desperate to not just be sent right back in to the Underdark just because someone thinks it would be a dramatic turn. But, of course, this has been considered.

A crow lands on a post ahead of the two of us who chose wisely, but still not quite out of reach of the plot. As we pass, it speaks in a gruff voice, telling us to meet with the Dwarf King.

'What foul wizardry is this?!'

'It's corvid wizardry, not fowl.'

But We'll Think About it

10th January 2019

We finally make it out of the Underdark, with each of us swearing never to reenter that place, mostly because the GM has a good third of the adventure to go. Until the inevitable rails hit us, we head to the nearest inn to rest and recuperate.

We follow signs of civilisation until we reach a dwarf town, and stop there instead. It'll do, as long as we can rent rooms. We have the money, so we should be okay. 'How about 1 gold each for three nights?', we ask the barman, who muses it over.

'2 gold for the orcs.'

'They're not for sale.'

An Otherwise Good Idea

20th December 2018

A Ray of Sickness hits our Cleric. It hits quite hard. Somewhat critically, in fact.

'Can I use Thunderclap in retaliation?'

'No, because you have to be within 5' to use the ability. And because you're unconscious.'

Quote of the Week

15th November 2018

'Are they wiggling in an aggressive way?' – Krunch, our fearless barbarian.

Have They Wet Themselves Too?

8th November 2018

As we partially fail to stop a ritual summoning from occurring, a vile fiend rises from the depths of a dark lake in front of us. Our plan is to leg it. We just hope we're going in the right direction. 'There are other kuatoa running the same way as you.'

'We run like fish-men?'

It Must Be Quite the Hovel

25th October 2018

The chief of the kuatoa finds his tribe in the midst of a factional split. As fate would have it, his daughter is the leader of the opposing faction, and he asks us if we would help him try to mend the rift. 'Of course. Where can we find her?'

'She lives in the ground floor of a hovel on the other side of...'

'Um. The ground floor of a hovel?'


'...of a hovel?'