I Set Fraz'Urb-luu Free

9th May 2019

And all I got was this lousy Inspiration.

Catch the Breeze

9th May 2019

We're in the Underdark, on a foldable ship, with the Demogorgan roaring in the distance but getting closer. We may need a burst of speed soon. Muffin has an idea about that. 'I'm going to go to the back of the boat, and face out from the back of the boat as best as possible.'

''As best as possible'? Do you think you'll have trouble doing that?'

'...and get ready to cast Gust of Wind to get us out of here.'

'I've only been the captain of this vessel for a couple of days, granted, but I think you'd have more success if you pointed the Gust of Wind at the sail. It's kinda how they work.'

You Cannot Lie in the Zone of Truth

11th April 2019

Something has been stolen from me, and I intend to find out who has it. My suspicions lie with our rogue, so I turn to him and 'I cast Zone of Truth!'

'You don't have Zone of Truth', says Krunch.

'Well, don't tell him that, magic is mostly showmanship anyways. Okay, gnome, you're now in the Zone of Truth!'

'No I'm not.'

'Okay, that's true. So... maybe the Zone of Truth is working. Gnome, do you have my gem?'


'Hmm, technically it's not my gem, so the question was worded poorly.' The Zone of Truth is a fickle mistress and turns out to be more difficult to manage than I realised. I let the matter lie a little longer, which worked out well when a bandit tried to stab the gnome in his sleep later that night to get the gem.

Cross-classing in to Pacifist

7th March 2019

The duergar have been fighting the gnomes in this enclave for flimsy reasons, and although we've managed to calm the situation somewhat, tensions are high. Trying to deal with the duergar boss isn't helping matters either, as he is being pretty obstinate.

As we leave the duergar quarter, to negotiate with the gnomes, we spy two duergar guards on the bridge, placed there to prevent the gnomes from seeking help from other factions. This rankles me a little, so I suggest that 'maybe we should get rid of those guards, just slaughter them and throw them off the bridge'.

'I think we need more motivation than that', is probably a wise reply, but a bit unexpected from our neutral half-orc barbarian.

Maybe a Silent Image Would Help

21st February 2019

Our barbarian has been poisoned, which is causing him some consternation, not least of which because 'we don't even know how the poison has been administered', making it difficult to avoid repeated doses.

'Up the bumhole, I imagine.'

'I think I would have noticed that.'

'I'm not saying that's what happened, I am just imagining it.'

And the Plot Moves on

24th January 2019

The great feast is interrupted with an assassination attempt on the Dwarf King. We foil it, of course, but 'This just confirms that there is something stirring in the Underdark', says the King, 'something that we will have to deal with.'

'I hope that's the royal 'we'.'

What Goes Around

24th January 2019

After an initial audience with the Dwarf King, we are invited as guests to a great feast. When everyone is seated, we are asked to introduce ourselves.

'I am', I say, casting Thaumaturgy to make my voice boom, 'Charmandrathrax', pausing for effect and casting a second Thaumaturgy to cause some ground tremors, 'The Combustrous—' A Golem smacks me off my chair before I am able to finish.

'Oh, I'm terrible sorry', says the Golem's owner, 'I'm afraid he registered you as a threat.' Well, finally.

'Pay it no mind, sir', I say. 'And may I enquire as to who you are?'

'Of course. I am...'

As he starts to speak, I say sotto voce to our barbarian, 'get ready to punch him'.

The Fantasy Equivalent of Light Reading

24th January 2019

We are invited to see the Dwarf King, and are led to his throne room where he greets us. 'We have heard of your exploits. Please share your tales with me. There have been great rumblings, down in the depths.'

'Um, what kind of 'throne' is he sitting on exactly?'

Here's the Thing...

10th January 2019

The party splits up, heading in two directions to two different cities, desperate to not just be sent right back in to the Underdark just because someone thinks it would be a dramatic turn. But, of course, this has been considered.

A crow lands on a post ahead of the two of us who chose wisely, but still not quite out of reach of the plot. As we pass, it speaks in a gruff voice, telling us to meet with the Dwarf King.

'What foul wizardry is this?!'

'It's corvid wizardry, not fowl.'

But We'll Think About it

10th January 2019

We finally make it out of the Underdark, with each of us swearing never to reenter that place, mostly because the GM has a good third of the adventure to go. Until the inevitable rails hit us, we head to the nearest inn to rest and recuperate.

We follow signs of civilisation until we reach a dwarf town, and stop there instead. It'll do, as long as we can rent rooms. We have the money, so we should be okay. 'How about 1 gold each for three nights?', we ask the barman, who muses it over.

'2 gold for the orcs.'

'They're not for sale.'