Failure to Communicate

Bravely inching our way through a waterfall in to what we believe is a den of kobolds, after fighting a bunch of kobolds outside the waterfall, no one is terribly surprised when kobolds and adventurers end up standing face-to-face.

Moving swiftly in to action, the ranger adopts the Arnold Rimmer approach to combat by attempting a diplomatic solution that would require a bluff big enough to rival the white cliffs of Dover. Requiring a huge bluff check doesn't make it Rimmeresque by itself, but confidently stating that she is a 'waterfall inspector come for the annual visit, and yours seems to have sprung a leak' quite clearly does.

Enraged either by the thought that they would be fooled by such a silly plan or from the unexpected cost of repairing their waterfall, the kobolds strike back, scurrying to attacking positions, the small cavern echoing with their chatter.

'What are they all saying?'

'Do you speak Draconic?'


'Then you don't understand what they are saying.'

The logical paradox causes our warlock to go on a rampage. He showers nearby kobolds with blue starlight before shooting rainbows from his chest at others, all the time cursing his pocket Draconic phrasebook. It is not long before we stand, beaten and bloodied, before a cavern full of dead kobolds.

Having defeated the kobold threat, we head back to Winterhaven to report our success to the town's leader.

2 Responses to “Failure to Communicate”

  1. Zubon Says:

    That is the sort of paradox that calls for death by Carebear Stare.

  2. Elf Says:

    Our warlock likes to think of the star pact as a 'beyond the stars' Cthulhu reference, but when he starts shooting blue glitter at rats, well, you drew the same similarity.