N is for Not Available

New plan: gas the bunker. We need to get in to the depths of the bunker where the meetings are held, to see what mysteries lurk below, but we can't afford to go in without being prepared in some way. And if being prepared means neutralising the guards then so be it.

Even so, mustard gas is probably not the best way to gain access. Not to say that it wouldn't be effective, but we'd need gas masks ourselves, and the fallout of whatever we did would be somewhat undesirable. Besides, we're not even connected enough to find a black market for grenades, our next choice of getting past the guards.

Indirect weapons to counteract the futuristic, lets call them 'assault', rifles sounds better than putting ourselves in the line of fire. But despite our best efforts at trying to get some grenades, we simply don't know and can't find out where to buy them.

Back to gassing, but in a way that won't arouse as much suspicion and, although deadly, won't provoke discussions about new human rights treaties once discovered. Nitrogen is the obvious choice. Cold nitrogen is heavier than air, so we could spill a load and have it fill the basement, where the guards are. It is colourless and odourless, and will be entirely unnoticed as a threat. The guards will simply pass out and painlessly asphyxiate when the nitrogen displaces the oxygen in the air. Don't ask me how I know all this.

Harry Herpderp, not his real surname, has a concern. 'I don't think nitrogen existed in the 1920s.'

'Oh, I think it did.'

'...sold in gas canisters! You could have let me finish my sentence.'

'I think we both know that was never going to happen with that straight line.' But he's right, so we have to come up with a proper plan.

2 Responses to “N is for Not Available”

  1. Harry 'Dreiser' Herpderp Says:

    Aha! I was right! It's there in writing, you admit I'm right! This principle will henceforth apply to all conversations involving my opinion, the principle of me being right.

  2. Elf Says:

    I thought that wasn't your real surname.