Bard vs. Mage

How peculiar. One moment we are chatting to some battle-worn dwarves, then my head goes dizzy and the dwarves are replaced by small, evil-looking angry creatures. I could still see Grot, Shaniqua and Garrick, but Gimp was hard to place. So many small, evil-looking angry creatures, how could I pick him out of that line-up?

Before I get a chance to react, one of the creatures attacks Grot, shouting 'Grot kill fake-Grot!', which doesn't make any sense. Grot is killed in a few quick blows, but when the pieces of his body finally hit the ground they turn in to bits of an evil-looking dwarf. This is most rum. Two evil-looking creatures vanish, another has arrows shoot from him in to what may have been Gimp (it was really hard to tell), despite not carrying a bow, one floats quickly up to the ceiling of the cavern, and Shaniqua attacks another of them.

Feeling a bit confused, I decide to take out what must be the enemy spell-caster. As he is 40 foot up, I have to rely on my powerful spells to despatch him, as even my keen and mighty blade cannot reach that far. Feeling that I have to remove the spell-caster from the fight as quickly as possible, I call upon my most devastating spell. I grab some small tarts from a belt pouch, toss them towards the ceiling, and tell the funniest joke I can think of, for few can resist the mirth of Tasha's Hideous Laughter!

As my tarts bounce off the spell-caster, falling ineffectively back to the floor as he fails to respond to my joke (humour doesn't translate well in to evil-looking angry creature language, it seems), I prepare myself for his riposte. Having adventured with Gimp for a while I know that Mages can have some painful spells in their repertoire, but I reckon I could dodge a falling summoned porpoise fairly easily, so I don't feel too threatened. Better that than facing another Bard with Tasha's Hideous Laughter! What could be worse than that?

'MAXIMISED LIGHTNING BOLT!', yelps the wee creature, as electricity leaps from his fingertips.

Dragging my scorched and smoking near-corpse away to relative safety, to hide under a stone bridge out of sight, I reflect that at least I was right to attack that spell-caster, as it couldn't have been Gimp. Casting an offensive spell was a dead giveaway.

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