I Meant Feather-duster

Winning the initiative against the barbarian gives us an advantage. Who'd've thought? A quick charm spell, aided by a forced failed saving throw, makes him think I'm his buddy, and we convince him to withdraw to another room, isolating us from his two-headed hound.

Another spell, this time a suggestion from Pasha, gets the barbarian's sword from him. Unarmoured, unarmed, and without his pet, it actually looks like we've managed to enact another decent plan, as we ambush the barbarian on our own terms.

The barbarian isn't quite down, though. He shoves his way past me in to another room, where he is able to find something as an improvised weapon.

'...like a statue?'

'Right, a bust, or something similarly hefty.'

'What did I just do? Why couldn't I have tried to think of something that could never possibly destroy us, like the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man? Me and my big mouth!'

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