Slain by Elf

Betty-R returns to silo 543, Eric-R no longer with her, to reunite with George-R. 'Did you see the alert The Computer sent out, to launch a nuclear missile at Sector ZQD?', says Betty-R.

'Yes. I tried to launch one', George-R lies, 'but it didn't work. I pressed all the buttons, nothing happened.'

'Did you try pressing them again?'

'Yes. Still nothing.'

'How about turning it off and back on again?'

'Turn off a nuclear reactor?'

'Sure. What could go wrong?' But before they can see just what can go wrong with turning off a nuclear reactor, they notice from security camera that some Armed Forces goons have dumped a body bag in the airlock of silo 543. They go to investigate.

Pulling the body bag in from the airlock, George-R and Betty-R ponder what to do with it. 'It's probably a mutant commie way of trying to get in to the base.', says Betty-R.

'Let's throw it on the slime mould sofa', suggests George-R.

'Good plan.'

'Hey, let me out!', comes a shout from the body bag.

'Yep', says Betty-R, 'this is an obvious mutant commie plot'.

'Don't you recognise the voice?' says George-R, a little unsure.

'Nope.'

Easily convinced, George-R helps Betty-R pick up the body bag and throw it over the railing to the ground floor of the silo, which is beneath two feet of toxic water. Betty-R is not happy with the original plan. 'That water's filthy. I'm not carrying him now. Let's look for a pole to push him with.'

The body bag, hearing the plan to dispose of whoever's inside, is getting restless. 'Guys? It's me! Eric-R! Let me out!'

It is indeed Eric-R. His replacement clone stumbled in to IntSec and Armed Forces following Herman-G in their own way of finding Stan-U's secret base, and now Eric-R has been unceremoniously dumped back at the silo after Seeing Too Much. It's only a shame that he waited so long to identify himself to his comrade Troubleshooters, who have left the room to look for a pole and didn't hear Eric-R say who he was.

'...guys?'

Eric-R's Troubleshooter colleagues return. With a pole. Eric-R feels the pole push in to the body bag, and him under water, and so tries again to identify himself. 'Guys! It's Eric-R! Help me out of here!'

'It does sound like Eric-R', says Betty-R. 'And now that he's underwater, it even sounds like the last time we drowned him.'

'Should we let him out?', asks George-R.

'In a minute.'

This entry was posted on 13th December 2012 at 9.45 pm and is filed under Paranoia. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.