Trust in the Time of Trapped Chests

15th September 2016

Defeating the Bugbear slavers and their overseer, we are left with the excellent task of looking for loot. We find a chest. 'It's not locked', says the GM, but we're not naive adventurers.

'I'll check the chest for traps.'

Having the GM tell me, 'let's say it isn't trapped', doesn't fill me with confidence.

'Is it trapped?'

'It's not, and I don't want to have to spend 10 minutes digging through the rules for traps.'

'Okay, I open it.'

'...nothing happens.'

'It doesn't even open? You said it wasn't locked.'

The Concept Remains Unclear

8th September 2016

Our dwarf companion lives from the previous encounter, and we press on with the excellent idea of rescuing all the dwarf slaves in the mine. We reach what looks like the main rock face, where a couple of dozen chained dwarves toil, watched over by Bugbears.

We find ourselves facing more Bugbears than there are us, and in a fairly big cavern. To help us gain some kind of advantage, Pasha prepares a spell. 'I'm going to cast Fog Cloud!'

'Okay, draw it on the map.'


'What is its effect?'

'It's foggy.'

Dwarven Domino Effect

8th September 2016

Collapsing a mine to halt production of an army's weapons is a fine plan, but having to make sure all of the dwarven slaves get out first is health and safety gone mad. There is a glimmer of hope that things can be made easier, though, when our dwarf ally and guide drops from a Bugbear attack.

'If the dwarf dies, we wouldn't have to rescue the slaves before we destroy the mine, would we?'

'Technically not, no.'

'Is that your plan now?', asks the GM.

'Our only regret is not thinking of it sooner.'

Leave No Man Behind, Just the Cabin Boy

18th August 2016

We have a ship! We also have a crew. This leads to squabbling over who should be captain, which takes most of the day.

Eventually, seeing the crew standing around in stunned disbelief, I simply shout out something that sounds captainy. 'Ready for sail!'

'Hey, who made you captain?'

'No one, but maybe you'd like to be first mate?'

'Okay. That makes Pasha the cabin boy.'

'That's not fair. I want to be Worf!'

'That works for me. Set sail, shipmates, and leave the wharf behind us!'

This is What it Sounds Like When Pirates Cry

11th August 2016

The pirate ship bringing the iron ore, and maybe mithril, comes in to the cove. We see the pirates on the ship, as well as their captain, who 'has a mean-looking parrot'.

'So do I', says Pasha, about his re-summoned minion for the occasion. 'Well, he's small and cute.'

'In a fight with this one, you would definitely come second.'

'I dunno, my parrot can deliver touch spells.'

'No, you would come second.' With a little trepidation we spring our trap, for what it's worth. We basically hide a bit, and rush out to attack when the pirates start disembarking.

I shoot my bow from where I'm hidden, getting a solid hit on one of the pirates coming down the gangplank. His cry of 'argh!' echoes around the cove.

'At least he hasn't alerted the other pirates', I mumble to myself.

It Got to Number One in the THAC0 Parade

4th August 2016

We get a surprise round on some bugbears we've sneaked up on. One gets stabbed in the back, the other two are engulfed by quite a damaging fireball. All in all, it's an effective surprise.

'You don't see any more bugbears, but we're going to stay in initiative.'

'Why's that?'

'No reason.' Our spider-sense tingles, and we don't stray far from cover as, sure enough, some more bugbears appear from a tunnel further ahead, including one that looks a bit more threatening than the others.

'I'm going to blind the boss', says Pasha, casting a spell.

Rolling a 1 on the saving throw produces a yelp from the bugbear. 'He's immune to a lot of things, but blindness isn't one.'

'That's one of my favourite bardic tunes.'

I Could Do This All Night

4th August 2016

'The ship transports iron ore.'


'Iron ore.'

'Or what?'



'No, iron ore.'

'Iron or... mithril?

'Just iron ore.'


His Pattern Indicates Two-dimensional Thinking

12th July 2016

The ore from the Iron Island looks like it is brought to the mainland through an abandoned castle overlooking the coast. On the assumption that the operation will be guarded, we try to sneak around to scout the location, rather than stomping in blindly.

The walls of the castle are not entirely intact, which allows us the opportunity to sneak in at a few places, but could also make our presence more obvious to anyone looking for intruders.

At one point, we want to get past a particularly big break in the wall. Helped with the use of a Space Marine miniature, Pasha comes up with genre-confusing way of continuing. 'I'll jetpack over the gap.'

'Over the what?'

'The gap.'

'So there's a collapsed section of wall, and your plan is to jetpack over it so that you won't be seen?'

There Are Alternatives to Fighting

5th July 2016

Our adventuring guides us towards the Iron Island, where our new dwarven ally, Herbie, escaped and where lots of other slaves remain, working to extract minerals from the quarries there. The main problem is how to cross the water between us and the island.

We find out from Herbie that a ship regularly transports the ore from the island to the mainland, which seems like our best chance of getting to the island ourselves. Of course, getting passage on the ship may not be straightforward, at least once we reject the obvious choice of offering ourselves as slaves.

'I have criminal connections', says Nerrick, 'I may be able to contact the smugglers'.

'Bear in mind your location, and that these pirates will be enemies of the state', warns the GM.

'Well, yes. That's why they're pirates. If they weren't enemies of the state, they'd be the navy.'

It Could Be the End of the World as We Know it

30th June 2016

The artefact we find in the dream world returns with us when we awake. Good, the second one is ours. As we return to Cairo by train, Tobias takes some time to analyse the artefact.

Tobias looks like he understands what the artefact is, and manages to activate it. Unfortunately, doing so causes a small, energy-based explosion, which shatters the windows in our train carriage. Such an effect could be handy at times, but now is not one of them.

Naturally, a guard comes by to see what the commotion is. We manage to bluff our way out of the situation quite well, complaining about the defective carriage, and manage to get moved to another one.

Not quite having learnt our lesson, and partly because only Tobias can do it, I want to see if I can use the artefact. Not activate it, just see if I can.

'Tobias can guide you, so give me an Occult roll, an easy check, so with +20.'

'96. That's a fail.'

'Or you can try against Cthulhu Mythos.'

'Is it still an easy check, at +20?'

'Nope, flat check against Mythos.'

'Okay. Ah, 03, that's a success by 2. Yeah, that's right, choke on your drink, Mr GM.'

I understand the artefact independently of Tobias's guidance. This may come in handy, because we reach our destination and find that we have been followed by the weird cultists somehow, and that they are holding people hostage until we hand over the artefact.

'Do we negotiate for the artefact?'

'Two of us know how to activate it. I could use all 8 of my magic points and just blow it all up.'

'Well, maybe not all of Cairo.'

'Hmm, good point. We don't know if the power scales linearly or on a logarithmic scale.'

'Yes, all we know is that 1 magic point blows out nearby windows. 2 points could destroy the continent of Africa, and 3 obliterate everything out to Mars. Let's call that Plan B.'