Finding Batman

26th February 2015

'Inside the chest is a staff.'

'How many?'

'Um, just the one.'

'That's a small staff. Maybe he only needs a butler.'

Miniature Misunderstanding

26th February 2015

'That's how useless wizards are.'


'No, Wizards of the Coast. They've put the medium outsider Azer miniature on a small base.'

Edging Out of the Circle of Trust

17th February 2015

We defeat the wizard, don't get vaporised by the protective wards, and switch the steam back on for the city. It's a simple matter to return to the surface and report back to the Lyceum.

Nearing the end of our debriefing, Aramil admits that 'I never trusted that bloke, he looked shifty from the start'.

'You are clearly more discerning than most', he is told by a grateful steward.

'Never trust a wizard, that's what I say.' Yes, that is what Aramil says, in the heart of the Lyceum, building of the city council, run by wizards, and devoted to teaching magic. Maybe this is why we choose to leave soon after and help our new fire elemental pal to get back to his home plane.

We're Good Listeners

17th February 2015

With the help of our rescued companion, and a little fiery fellow, we find the evil wizard who has disabled the heating system for the entire city. Of course, he starts monologuing. Typical.

'Can't we just attack him? He's kinda distracted.'

'I think you need a feat to interrupt quest text.' We learn all about the wizard's scheme, whether we want to or not, until 'the evil wizard finishes his spiel. Can I have initiative rolls, please?'

'We don't even get a chance to reply? We listened to all of his crap. Bah, whatever. The next thing he'll hear is me shouting '21!'.'

'What's that?'

'With any luck, my initiative.'

Do You Have Knowledge: Character Sheet?

14th February 2015

Heading in to the underground tunnels that form the steam system reveals what appear to be lived-in passages, lit by torches. We were led to believe the whole system would normally be filled with steam, so this is not quite what we expect.

'Can I make a knowledge check to see how long these torches have been lit?'


'How about knowledge: engineering?'


'I don't have it. Knowledge: dungeoneering?'

'Why wasn't that your first choice?'

Our Very Own Donald

14th February 2015

The underground steam system that heats the city has failed. No one really knows why, partly because the system was constructed centuries ago and has never even needed maintenance, so no one alive knows about its workings or topology. This means that it's up to us brave adventurers to investigate.

'Why us? Do we have a reputation?'

'Ah. I did happen to spend all of our first day in the city regaling the students of the Lyceum about our exploits in getting here, perhaps embellishing them somewhat.'

'Great. We've been hoist by our own petard.'

'It's pronounced "retard".'

Someone's Boasting

22nd January 2015

Despite our best efforts at being completely rubbish detectives, we manage to locate the stolen dragon's egg. We should probably write down what we did so that we can repeat our successful methods next time. Something about talking to people, I think.

We bargain with the thief to sell us the egg, but with no intention of paying for stolen property. He doesn't cotton on, and takes us to view the egg and confirm it's real. It is, and we nick it back, with Aggar's plan working to lock the thief in his own shack of stolen goods.

We turn to leave, to take the egg back to its dragon owner, but 'before we go, I want to find a small hole in the shack and...'

'Dammit, Salvador. How many times? No glory holing'

'...and summon the centipede.'

'What did I just say?'

He'd Also Sacrifice the Skutters

22nd January 2015

After returning from a negotiation, we update the sergeant of the fort with our progress, after which he invites us to share a game of Conquest with him. Conquest is a strategy game where players pit their wits as commanders against each other, as well as test out actual strategies in a vague representation of a simulation. Sure, why not.

The board is laid out to represent the nations, the troops positioned as they are currently known to be. There is, after all, a war being waged. The sergeant takes his turn and rolls the dice. He is being opposed by Salvador, who is playing our side not for any tactical advantage but because he is the only person who knows how to roll dice. His first turn rolls him a natural 20.

The sergeant's forces are pushed back a little. He adjusts and makes a new roll. Salvador does the same and, would you believe it, another 20! The sergeant's forces are taking some punishment now, but it's not the end of the encounter. He makes his move, takes his roll. Salvador rolls a third natural 20!

This is starting to look bad. Not for the sergeant, who has pretty much already lost, but for us. We're really not looking forward to Salvador mistaking this fluke for gaming prowess, and his recounting a story of an epic victory to us at any opportunity, in true Arnold Rimmer fashion.

On a Quest to Find Ourselves

15th January 2015

Maybe we shouldn't be pairing up ugly and uglier to get information from someone, but we are. Let's just not let our expectations get too high.

Thrak and Salvador enter the shop and approach the owner, hoping to get some information about a stolen dragon's egg. Surprisingly, they make some progress, getting the owner to admit to having black market connections, and Salvador pushes to get some names.

Salvador offers a bribe. '200 gold pieces now, 300 more if the information leads to us getting the egg.'

'Okay, I can be persuaded. Now, I don't know their names, but you should be able to find them by their description. A gnome and a human...'

Oh dear.

'...have shown interest in finding the egg. They'd be the people to ask about this.'

Oh dear, oh dear. Salvador just handed over 200 gold pieces to learn that the other members of his party are on the same quest. Needless to say, we already knew this. Our ruse to keep our affiliation unknown has worked against us. It would take a half-wit not to realise what's just happened. Meanwhile, Thrak continues to listen to the descriptions the shopkeeper is giving, taking notes.

Worse still, if we do end up recovering the dragon's egg, we'll technically owe the shopkeeper that further 300 gold.

All the Charm of a Dwarf

15th January 2015

'Salvador can do the talking, as he has a better charisma score than me.'

'No I don't', says Salvador, looking at his character sheet. 'Do I?'

'Mine's 6.'

'Holy crap, I do. It's 8.'

Negative ability modifiers for both! Why are either of them trying to get some important information from an NPC? The situation might get uglier than it already is.