I'm Telling Y'all it's Sabotage

3rd November 2015

We're trying to work out how to sabotage some siege engines. Our best bet seems to be for Thrak and Salvador to sneak up on them, throw oil on the engines, and then for me to cast Wall of Fire to set them all alight.

It's not a bad plan, apart from needing to be stealthy, and that my Wall of Fire will only stretch across 4 of the 12 siege engines in the front of 2 rows. If only we had a way of reaching more of the engines.

'Isn't there still some trouble with teleporting, and that anyone who does ends up on fire?'

'Yep, why do you think I suggested Dimension Door as one of your new spells?'

'Then why don't we just douse your familiar with oil and get him to blink to each siege engine in turn? Because who needs a wall of fire when you have a flaming teleporting dog?'

'Let's call that plan B.'

Plan A goes ahead as better than nothing, and it seems to go quite well. Sappers dig us a trench to get close to the engines, and Thrak and Sal manage to sneak close enough to the first pair of siege engines without being noticed. 'Ready your throwing arm!'

'Oh, I've been secretly working on it for years.' The oil is thrown, some confused voices are heard, and Sal and Thrak move on. Four more siege engines are splashed with oil before the engineers and guards realise what's happening, at which point Sal casts a scorching ray to set one patch of oil alight.

That's my signal! I cast wall of fire, catching the oil on the other siege engines, and inflicting serious damage on them, as well as preventing more guards from coming to attack Thrak and Sal, now making their retreat. Maybe we don't disable all the siege engines, but we make a good dent in weapons we'll be facing tomorrow.

Knowledge Without Understanding

27th October 2015

To avoid patrols on the main roads we have to go through a dark wood, within which are creatures known as pitchlings. Salvador knows something about them, and shares his knowledge with us. 'Also, we can hold unlit torches, and if a pitchling comes within 100', they will burst in to flames.' Salvador considers this for a moment. 'I don't know if that's a diplomatic option, though.'

'What do you mean?'

'I don't think it's the best idea to make pitchlings burst in to flames when all we want is safe passage through their woods.'

'I think it's the unlit torches that burst in to flames, not the pitchlings.'

'That does make more sense.'

Maybe Leave Your Axe Behind

27th October 2015

The orcs who overran the dwarf outpost have been defeated, along with their wyvern, which was killed single-handedly by little gnome illusionist me. I'm still waiting for my medal. Searching the outpost finds the dwarf bodies tossed unceremoniously in to a heap in the snow.

'I'll check to see that they're all dead.'


'That came out wrong, didn't it? I'll check to see if any are still alive.'

Concentration Check

22nd October 2015

Fighting our way through the orc fortress leads us to the commander, Krag. Almost, anyway. A narrow corridor ends with a 10' wall leading up to ledge where the corridor continues. The wall would be easy to climb with the ladder in place, but only if the ladder stayed in place. One of Krag's lieutenants pulls it up as we approach.

Missing the ladder isn't too much of a problem, as it turns out. The dwarf we rescue from the fortress agrees to act as a dwarven springboard, letting Nerrick and myself climb up to the ledge, getting us in to combat with the lieutenant, Krag staying out of reach behind him.

Pasha doesn't want to get too close, and instead of clambering up with us casts Levitate to get a better view of proceedings. Seeing Krag not in direct combat gives Pasha an idea. 'Don't worry lads, I'll cast Suggestion and get Krag to drop his axe and retire to his throne room.'

Pasha starts to cast his next spell. 'Krag, I suggest you drop your aaaaaaahhhh!' Concentrating so hard on his suggestion causes Pasha to stop concentrating on his levitation, which is a shame because both spells require concentration to be active, causing our mage to fall to the ground and lose line-of-sight to Krag, another condition for suggestion. But it was a good plan in spirit.

Mistaken Identity

22nd October 2015

Needing to recover from several encounters forces our retreat from the orc fortress. We don't think they'd leave us to sleep peacefully only to get up and fight them refreshed.

We exit the fortress, head a bit further up the valley, and find somewhere safe to rest. Maybe this will confuse the orcs too, as we rush in, kill a couple of them, and run away again. Mind you, I don't suppose it takes much to confuse an orc.

After a night's rest, we head back to the fortress, and get inside in much the same way as before. We know what we're doing this time. Well, up to a point. At least the gelatinous cube is gone, although the hole to the oubliette is covered once again, and the initial barricade has been rebuilt too.

As before, Pasha throws a firebolt at the barricade to start it smouldering, hopefully making it easier to break down. Our mage also reaches in to his bag of tricks, hoping to get a creature out of it that can threaten the orcs whilst we get through the barricade.

Pasha grabs the small ball of fur, pulls it out of the bag, and tosses the ball over the barricade. Within seconds, a giant hyena has appeared on the orc side of the barricade! That's a pretty good result.

The GM gives the stats for the hyena to Pasha, 'and remember that the giant hyena doesn't like fire, so if that blaze gets any worse it may panic.'

'Hey, just because I rolled two 1s in a row there's no reason to start panicking!'

'Not you, Blaise.'

Face-to-six-faces With a Gelatinous Cube

6th October 2015

Getting in to the orc fortress in the canyon, thanks to finding a hidden lever that opens a door in the rock face, only leads to more problems. To get to the door we had to pass arrow slits where orcs waited to fire opportunistically at us. Even orcs aren't so stupid for us to be out-of-sight, out-of-mind, and we have to accept that they not only know that we're inside, but also just inside their entrance.

Sure enough, right around the corner from the entrance is a small barricade, with a couple of orcs behind it with bows. Rather than exchange shots with opponents who are behind cover, we decide that closing the distance as quickly as possible is the best idea. That is until, a few steps in, Nerrick falls down a covered pit, and comes face-to-six faces with a gelatinous cube.

As we weather arrows from the laughing orcs, we try to help Nerrick escape the clutches of the gelatinous cube before it engulfs him. I lower down a rope to help Nerrick climb back up, but the cube tries to swallow him and Nerrick has to dodge deeper in to the oubliette.

Despite our best efforts, with Nerrick stabbing the cube and Pasha's flaming sphere burning in to its top, the gelatinous cube swallows Nerrick. We have to get him out of there! 'I'm going down in to the pit.'

'Are you going down on the rope?'

'The one I'm holding? No, that doesn't sound right.' Instead, I jump down, pull out my weapon, and, with Pasha's assistance from the outside and Nerrick's from the inside, we all deal enough final damage to the cube for it to dissolve and free our colleague. Now we just need to get out of the pit and deal with the orcs. If only we had a positive strength modifier between us to help climb that rope.

The Better the Illusion, the Harder it Hurts

6th October 2015

At the end of the canyon is the orcs' fortress, seemingly built in to the walls of the canyon itself. We spot some tracks that the orcs have left, but they seem to lead directly in to a stone wall.

Getting closer to the wall where the tracks disappear doesn't offer any clues as to possible openings, and, given that there are two illusionists in the party, we naturally assume that magic must be shielding the entrance.

'I'll throw a pebble at the rock face.' It bounces off the rock face, much like a pebble would normally bounce off a rock face. 'That's a pretty good illusion. Pasha, run in to the rock face where the tracks lead, and really believe in yourself!'

'Roger that. I cast Haste!'

I'm Not Following

6th October 2015

'Lord help you if you ever come across a smart enemy.'

'Well, you play all the NPCs, so we're probably okay.'

And Who Were His Parents?

29th September 2015

'Where did the orc come from?'

'What? I don't know. It's just an orc. There's no detail about where he's from, or anything like that in the adventure!'

'No, I just meant where up here, in this crag. He seemed to appear from nowhere.'

They're Squeezing?

24th September 2015

Defeating the guards leaves us looting the battlefield. 'Is there any loot?'

'Chain shirts, spears, a heavy crossbow. And their 15 horses, of course.'

'I'll put them in my backpack.'

'...what are you putting in your backpack?'

'The horses.'

'I'm not going to allow that, because, first, you're not very strong, and second, you would need to compress 15 horses in to a small backpack.'

'I'm surprised that second point had to be relegated to be the second point on a list to disallow the carrying of 15 horses in a backpack.'