Slain by Elf

'What have I done to deserve this? I must have been really evil in a previous life', wails our Mage.

'What do you mean, 'previous'?'

It is almost a rule that if you are not present for a gaming session then your character will be brave to the point of stupidity or will end up quite badly harmed. Probably both, as one leads to the other. This is a scientific feedback mechanism that encourages players to turn up for each session. However, there are some times when no matter how hard the player-proxy tries there just isn't enough peril in the adventure that week to make the missing player regret his absence. Like last week, for example.

Bert wasn't available to play and Will had the opportunity—and it is always an opportunity to run someone's character, never a chore—to run his Ninja. Even though Gimp's efforts at scouting were poor enough to get the Ninja attacked by some large skeletons, and Will got the Ninja to pick up a trapped gemstone, the Ninja came out of the session almost unharmed. This is very poor, as it means Bert will believe it is safe to leave his Ninja in the hands of another player. But where there's a Will there's a way: remembering that the pen is mightier than the sword Will dropped the Ninja from full health to 2 hit points, wrote 'Mummy Rot' on the top of the character sheet, and, just for good measure, reduced the Ninja's Wisdom, the class's primary ability, down 5 points. So simple, yet so effective.

Poor Bert has spent the past week worrying about whether his 'wounds' are cursed as Grot's were, wondering what could have done him 5 points of Wisdom damage (to be fair, so have we; a bit of hand-waving convinced him it was real, though), and how to cure the Mummy Rot before the ability damage kills him. I can just imagine how happy he will be when he finds out that all of this harm will be cured magically through the use of a rubber! It's a shame he won't read this before tonight's session.

In looking for missing villagers and Ogre bandits we follow a map to a set of doors set high up in a dormant volcano. On opening them, we are faced with some stairs that lead downwards and in to a room lit with a reddish light. Our Mage decides that he wants to scout the area, trying to impress upon us his new-found usefulness. He casts Invisibility on himself and moves down the stairs as quietly as he can. The rest of us wait at outside, passing the time until he returns with a quick game of cards. After a few successful hands the Cleric told me what happened to the last person who beat our Fighter at snap, and she suggested a new strategy: let the Half Orc win.

After a while, just before the Invisibility spell ran out, coincidentally enough, Gimp returned from his scouting and told us what he saw. There was an odd-shaped room with an altar that glowed red faintly, and beyond that was a room with a statue of a women standing dominantly in it. There was no sign of life, according to our Mage, so we headed down as a party. When we started to cross the room the Ninja ran headlong in to four large skeletons, which animated from two of the walls. Well, Gimp was sort of right, I suppose, as there were still no signs of 'life' there. Even so, perhaps the Mage should work a bit his scouting skills.

The subject of character alignment can cause a lot of discussion and disagreement whenever it is brought up. It seems that the ideas behind good-or-evil and lawful-or-chaotic can be quite subjective, to the point where alignments are generally ignored except where the system mechanics demands it, such as restricting classes or spells to certain alignments. The idea of what makes someone 'lawful' seems to be confused with the idea of 'law' itself, and is largely semantic in nature. Wizards of the Coast have published an article describing in more detail what it means to be lawful in the scope of D&D, which is one of the best guides I have read on the subject.

I would have to agree with what is discussed in that article. Being lawful does not mean that you have to follow the law. This is not immediately obvious, until you realise that the polar opposite of 'lawful' in the game is 'chaotic', not 'unlawful'. Rather than trying to grasp what 'lawful' means, it may be better to understand the ideas behind the chaotic alignment and then deducing from that what the opposite of that alignment would be. There is an amusing quote, which I cannot place, that the most predictable players in a D&D game are the chaotic ones. Again, this probably results from a misunderstanding of what the alignment means. It is not simply a matter of not following the law, which would be predictable, but rather to follow whims, not to be tied down to doing something the same way simply because that's the way you did it last time.

Following on from that, we can see that being lawful doesn't mean something as simply as following the law. The lawful alignment is more about order and predictability than staying within the law of the land. A lawful character will plan, and approach similar situations in the same way each time. He will search for order and routine in his life, even if it is as little as the way he dons and removes his armour in the morning and at night when he is out adventuring, when there is little room for routine. When trying to get some information out of a captured enemy he will use the same techniques. If he finds torture to be effective, he will torture to get the information; if he prefers to get the information from bargaining, then that is what he will do. Torturing someone doesn't make you chaotic any more than flipping a coin to work out which fork in the road to take makes you good or evil.

After thinking about the lawful-or-chaotic axis it would be easy to think that the good-or-evil axis would be simpler to agree upon. This does not tend to be the case, though. Is the good alignment something that is absolute, or is it relative? For example, is the death of an evil creature an inherently good thing, or are there occasions when it could be evil? The Book of Exalted Deeds and Book of Vile Darkness provide some good examples that while good and evil are not absolute they are also not relative to the person; rather, they are relative to the situation. A good character cannot then kill anything evil on sight, with no justification. This would be a form of genocide and not a good act at all. Just because the character views a race as evil does not make them a blight on the world to be removed. A character that attacks anything without question simply because of alignment would more properly be classed as psychotic, as they would be killing without provocation or justification.

And it works both ways. An evil character would not kill good characters or creatures on sight, just because of their alignments. It is more reasonable to assume that a character should find out someone's intentions or motives before deciding on a course of action. An evil mage would not necessarily try to kill someone intruding in his tower, but may ask what they are doing there and why. He may well then use force to remove them from his tower, but it is unlikely it would be his first course of action. In just about most situations, anyone who attacks or kills on a whim would be considered unstable or psychotic and would be the exception, not the rule.

Intelligence and reason play a role in this as well. A beast of low intelligence, around an ability score of 3 or lower, would be acting on instinct more than reason, and it is quite probable that it would attack anything it perceived as an enemy, threat, or food. Even then, it would not be likely to attack its own species or other animals that it benefits from. There are societies in the animal world as much as with humans. Once you get above an intelligence score of 3 you get more in to the realm of reason, and this is where evil characters will start to weigh up the consequences of their actions. Of course, at ability scores below 8 you will have characters making bad decisions and unable to realise the repercussions of what they are doing, so you may get a more violent version of evil. With higher ability scores of 15 and above you will get the opposite, where evil characters not only fully understand the consequences but can manipulate the situation, getting other characters to do their work unwittingly. They will not resort to violence as quickly as those with low intelligence ability scores, but use words and reason to greater effect. Evil doesn't mean violent, nor does it mean stupid.

A good working description of the evil alignment is that the end justifies the means. This does not mean that the end justifies any means, though. In a hack-and-slash adventure you may well find that killing someone is the easiest way to get what you want, but that does not mean that the evil character has no other way to achieve his goal, or that it is the correct course of action to choose because he is evil. Conversely, a good character believes that the means is more important than the end. Again, this doesn't mean that a good means can justify an evil end. There needs to be a vision of the greater good, and this can allow bargaining with evil people should that lead to, for example, safe passage through a kingdom so that a cure for a plague can be reached in time. It can also be seen that a lawful good paladin who enters a town of good alignment but whose laws allow slavery does not have to accept slavery as being right, nor be prevented from trying to change the situation. As long as he sees all forms of slavery as wrong and tries to correct the situation through predominantly peaceful means with a view to freeing the slaves his lawful good alignment won't be compromised.

In conclusion, alignments can be easily misunderstood, but with a bit of discussion between players and the DM and some understanding of the concepts behind each of the axes it is possible to use them to enhance a game. They can provide a greater sense of tension between characters, rather than an excuse to go on a killing spree.

We're not exactly a Good-aligned party, and we tend to shoot first and ask questions later; I'm okay with this, for the most part, but every now and again I have to wonder about my companions.

We continue our investigations in to missing people and missing cargo, knowing that Ogres are behind some of it, at least, and press onwards. We follow one of the paths that are marked on the map we found on the ogres, leading us through the woods and towards the mountain where we believe the source of the problems lie. Breaking through the woods on the far side, at the foot of the mountain, we see a little way ahead of us what looks like a statue, standing in a ring of bones. Gimp, our Mage, casts Detect Magic, and senses several sources of magic coming from the ring and statue. As curious as we are, we cannot simply pass this by, but what dangers might we be facing?

Our Ninja has an idea. He pulls out his Bag of Tricks and delves in to it. Out comes a black bear, loyal to its master and ready to do what he commands. Elrohir commands it to 'stay', and then he walks carefully around the statue, taking care not to go near the ring, until he is on the opposite side of the statue to his bear. He then calls the bear to him, with a 'heel' command. Yes, that was his plan: let's walk an innocent animal through the potentially deadly area and see what happens. What happens is that the statue reveals itself to be a Clay Golem and the bear feels its berserk wrath, being squished almost as soon as it enters the ring of bones. The Ninja seems neither particularly surprised nor regretful about this, but simply happy that it was not him mashed to a pulp. I swear, he's been hanging around with a bad influence too long.

Nevertheless, we find ourselves facing a Clay Golem. Gimp recognises it and remembers from his studies that Clay Golems only feel the full force of weapons that are both made of adamantine and do bludgeoning damage, and that it was immune to nearly every offensive spell. This was good information to know. Even though we had no such weapons we were sure our Fighters could still damage the brute. Grot leapt in to attack and started trying to carve the Golem down to size. Our Archer fired arrow after arrow at it. Gimp conjured up yet another monster that would be slain within seconds of appearing. Even with all of this effort, the Golem was not quick to drop, and Grot's health was diminishing. Even worse, his wounds could not be healed normally, for reasons unknown. We needed some extra firepower, and quickly.

'I could easily add some more damage to this beast were it not immune to just about anything I could feasibly throw at it', Gimp opined. 'But wait! There is one spell that is in my repertoire and prepared for use that will never fail against spell-resistant creatures, and it has the added advantage of doing damage over a period of time, not just instantly. Perhaps you have heard of it, Golem of Clay? It goes by the name of Melf's Acid Arrow!' And with that, Gimp casts the spell, seeing the acidic arrow fly towards our enemy. 'A hit! A palpable hit! My only regret is that I failed to cast it to do maximum damage, a feat I can perform once a day. How do you like acid, Golem? Ha ha ha!'

'Um, Gimp? It doesn't seem to mind acid at all. In fact, some of the cracks that Grot has made are clearing up, almost as if it is being healed by the acid.'

'It... it can't be! But it seems you are right. And the acid will continue to heal it for for a little more time to come, such is the effect of the spell. It is a good thing I had the foresight not to maximise the spell.'

Nevertheless, despite Gimp finding another offensive spell that was detrimental to his allies we prevail over the Golem, with Grot's mighty blows splintering it in to smithereens. We rest for a while, wondering how to heal Grot's cursed wounds.

The player of Grot, our Fighter, turned up for tonight's session, but had to go before the session started. He left his character sheet so that someone else could play Grot for the evening, and that someone else was me. Normally when a player is not present for a session all sorts of things can happen to his character. In this case, I played Grot pretty much true to type: I charged Grot in to battle at the start of every fight, remembering to use his Leap Attack, and I used Power Attack at every opportunity, missing several times because the Tao of Power Attack doesn't lie.

One change that I brought to the character, to his advantage I would say, was that I remembered Grot was wearing a Cloak of Displacement. Grot avoided damage twice because of this, as his foe swung at an image of Grot and not the Fighter himself. I hope this new facet of the character is carried forward in following weeks.

Of course, some things never change. One immutable fact about letting someone else play your character is that you'll never get it back with the same number of hit points. Or, if you do, it won't be for long. Grot's player will come back next week to find his Fighter only just above single-digit hit points; not only that, but they cannot be healed normally. My work is done.

I, Dinike the Bard, follow the adventuring party to a small town on a river trading route, and hang around with them in town. I play a rather enchanting tune in the market square and manage to rustle up enough gold to stay in the fancy inn for the night, and have a slap-up meal as well. Perhaps by coincidence the others also stay in that inn. We all overhear about troubles with people disappearing in the area and merchant boats being looted, so we decide to go to the town council in the morning. On meeting the council, my quick tongue makes amends for the Mage's whining about the apparently low reward for our services, and I also manage to sweet-talk the members of the council in to offering a greater reward should we return the cargo of supplies that has been stolen. I think it is at that moment I am truly accepted in to the group.

We head off northwards to investigate the strange occurrences further. After passing and burying a couple of dead bodies just off the beaten track, we hear some guttural grunts ahead. Using my magic to understand them, I overhear a conversation some Ogres are having about a successful raid. We are close enough to see six of them sitting around a fire with a deer roasting on a spit above it. We decide to engage them. As we are working out our strategy, Grot, the Fighter, turns to me and says that he is happy to have found the Displacer Cloak, which should make him harder to hit in battle, and that he looks forward to using it.

With little further ado, our plans are put in to effect. Grot charges in to being the fray, jumping as he charges for an almighty attack. The Mage casts a powerful Lightning Bolt that hits three of the Ogres. Our Ninja almost disappears in to the background and creeps up on the Ogres, and the Archer lets loose a volley of arrows that strike home. Whilst the Ogres are still working out what just happened, more arrows and hits come flying at them, and their numbers are reduced.

It's not long before they regain their wits, such as an Ogre wit is. With their long reach Grot finds himself gaining the attention of two of them, including the leader, and is hit quite hard in the next few moments. He finds himself with two Ogres hitting him from a distance, and little chance of fighting back against both effectively, and feeling a little worse for wear. Showing some tactical wisdom, he makes a short withdrawal, back to where he can be healed and supported by the Cleric and Archer. A summoned Celestial Bison courtesy of the Mage blocks the path of the two Ogres so they cannot make a retaliatory charge in to us. As this great beast is chopped down in a few seconds it seems like Grot made the sensible choice in retreating momentarily.

With combined resources, the remaining Ogres are killed and no one is left in peril. After the battle, I ask Grot, 'How did the Displacer Cloak work out for you? Did it protect you as much as you hoped?'

'Oh yeah, the Displacer Cloak. I knew I had to remember something.'

I think I need to sing a Bardic tune of Remembrance next time.

Lenwë decided to head back to a monastery for a while after the adventure with the Drow, seeking more enlightenment than could be brought through violent means. Shortly after this happens, a wandering bard comes in to town and plays in an inn where our adventurers are staying. He plays enchanting melodies and even tells the tale of how the party saved the townsfolk from the Drow dressed as Illithid, almost as if he were there, although perhaps exaggerating Grot's prowess. Little known to the party, Dinike merely cast Detect Thoughts on the Warrior earlier and used what little he found to recreate the adventure they had just been on to sway them in to accepting him along their next journey, so that he could experience more adventure. Impressed by this flattery, oblivious to the magic behind it, he was accepted in to the group.

Dinike specialises in wind instruments, using them to inspire greatness and competence, as well as to spin yarns and tell of heroes. If threatened, he defends himself with a rapier, the weapon of choice for Bards everywhere, but he is more likely to try to talk his way out of trouble. With good diplomacy skills, as well as being able to bluff his way out of situations and realise when he is being lied to, he can call upon arcane magic to comprehend or even talk any language he comes across. He is also keen on creating illusions to amaze people, or just to throw them off-tack. His Bardic background supplies him with plenty of knowledge on history, the local area he finds himself in, and he has also studied the arcane with the hopes of summoning a familiar for himself at some point.

Let's see how Dinike Rioe charms his way in to the party and through the coming weeks.

Intrigued by some masks we find in the dungeon, which appear to be made out of dead squid and are fashioned to look like the face of an Illithid, I put one on along with the accompanying robe. I end up looking suspiciously like the Mind Flayer we saw earlier in the adventure, albeit not terribly tall as, being an Elf, I am only 5'2". We press on, with me still in disguise, just it case it could help us. A disguise has yet to help us in any adventure, but I am nothing but optimistic that it will do one day.

After a quick skirmish with some more Hobgoblins, we find a door, barred on the outside, similar to the one that held mind-controlled prisoners downstairs. We think it quite likely that there are more captured townsfolk behind this one too, so we open it and go in. I had sort of forgotten that I was posing as an Illithid and that this could have a negative effect on the attitude of the prisoners. They seemed to take it in their stride, though:

'Aren't you a little short to be a Mind Flayer?'

'What? Oh, the disguise. I'm Lenwë Telemnar. I'm here to rescue you!', I say, taking off the mask.

With the rest of the townsfolk found, all that is left to do is to find this fake Mind Flayer and destroy the threat he presents. We find him in his quarters, just down the adjoining corridor, protected by his strong partner, and we become embroiled in quite a battle with them. All sorts of magic is thrown around in the fight, including having our Fighter Charmed right at the start, but not by our Mage. Considering his main 'contribution' to the fight is to pick up the magical staff after I disarmed the fake Mind Flayer of it, and then run out of the room, it was interesting to hear his helpful calls of 'do something useful!' from the corridor.

Nevertheless, we prevail, and we all survived, thanks to some masterful and timely healing from the Cleric, after the cornered not-a-Mind Flayer decided to use all of his fireballs on us. We even manage to find an ounce of Stone Salve in the small horde of treasure in the room. This is used to make the Ninja flesh once more, and luckily he suffers no ill effects, such as dying, from the transformation. We rest, get the townsfolk healthy and back to strength for the journey back, and head off back to the town, to be welcomed as heroes.

We had to leave our poor Ninja petrified last week, not having any means to turn him back to flesh. Pressing on, we soon realised how much we needed him: I found a secret door, avoided the trap, and scouted ahead. Yep, we didn't need him at all. Nevertheless, after we killed some Hobgoblins and recovered a scroll of Remove Enchantment I was first to point out that we should go back downstairs and get the Ninja back in the party proper, rather than just using him to wipe the mud off our boots.

The scroll was a fortuitous find indeed, particularly as the Mage had earlier said that that would be the best way we could undo the petrification effect of the Basilisk. As we started heading down, though, the Mage started having second thoughts. He pondered over the scroll and the spell upon it, calling on some strange knowledge of Divine magic, and started to have doubts about its effectiveness on removing the petrification. 'I'm not sure the Basilisk cast a spell or used a supernatural effect. Moreover, I believe the efficacy of the spell is not guaranteed on petrification. I am almost sure that we would need a Stone-to-Flesh spell instead', spake he.

As if his words of doubt were heard from above, the characters on the scroll shifted before his eyes. Lo, they had transformed themselves in to a Stone-to-Flesh spell! 'Ah, now this would certainly bring our Ninja back from his stony slumber. Of course, this transformation is quite a shock to the system, and with his standard constitution I would imagine he would have only a 55% chance of returning to flesh and blood without dying. Nevertheless, it is a risk I am sure he would be willing to take, instead of remaining something Grot hangs his cloak on at night.

'Ah, but wait: this spell is higher than I am normally able to cast. I would not be able to cast this without a 15% chance of failure, and should I somehow manage to fail that there is a further 10% chance that something bad would happen to me as a result. That's less than a 2% chance of something happening to me! Hmm, as much as I would clearly like to take this risk, I have distracted myself by asking what an Arcane spell is doing on a Divine scroll. Surely this isn't possible.'

Again, as if his words were heard from above the characters on the scroll change once more. We are left with a scroll with Bull's Strength on it. This time it doesn't take quite so long to realise that we cannot use that spell to revive the Ninja, risk or otherwise. We turn around and head back up the stairs.