Slain by Elf

The priest of Moradin and all his little helpers is defeated in the warehouse, the final blow knocking him unconscious for later questioning. Before we wake him from this blissful state we discuss just what we are going to ask him, focussing mostly on whether we have just viciously beaten up what we suspect is a doppelganger or an actual priest of Moradin and the repercussions of the two options.

Gruknal, with his clerical background and reverence to Moradin, is concerned that we have indeed attacked a man of the cloth, as he was 'clearly casting Moradin spells' because of the radiant enery emitted from the man.

'He is a phony priest', retorts Krafft, sure that we have been fighting a doppelganger, 'of a made-up religion.'

Despite Krafft's personal views on certain deities, no doubt tainted by his devotion to the Raven Queen, Gruknal's ire is deflected by Adran's contribution to the dilemma. 'He can cast spells, can't he? You can be a player character as a doppelganger, they're in the back of the monster manual, I think.'

'Our ranger is speaking in tongues! Grimstorm, my friend, cast your most powerful healing on our elven colleauge, for I fear he has suffered an almighty blow on the head.' With Adran being tended to for his curious outburst Gruknal has an idea on how to reveal the true identity of the now-bound possibly fake priest. 'Let us ask him many questions about Moradin and see if he really is a cleric of the church.'

The man is roused back to consciousness and Gruknal enters in to a theological discussion of some depth with him. It becomes clear after a couple of minutes of talk that 'he clearly doesn't know what he is talking about!'

'Really? Let's ask him to join our party, it sounds like he'll fit right in.'

We follow a doppelganger dwarf to a warehouse in a quiet section of the town and sneak inside to investigate who else is inside before we confront the doppelganger. We manage to get in to a closed office area on a mezzanine level but it looks like further use of stealth will be hampered by a lack of cover. But maybe we don't need cover if there are enough aural distractions. 'How noisy is it in the main warehouse?', I ask.

Newcomer shaman Grimstorm responds, 'it's quite well-lit'. At least we now know who took the synaesthesia trait, which may come in handy. Instead of trying to rely on stealth we start to work out how best to surprise the handful of workers or miscreants within. Our plan apparently involves shrugging our shoulders in a non-committal manner until someone comes up the stairs and wanders in to an accidental ambush. It works brilliantly, taking everyone completely by surprise!

The combat is taken outside of the office and in to the warehouse, where we fight on walkways and the floor, casting enemies amongst the many empty cardboard boxes that every warehouse is required by law to have piled around. Our main foe is quite readily apparent, with beams of radiant energy strobing out from him to his companions' blades and also striking anyone daring to attack him from a distance.

The radiant enemy is quite well-protected, Adran showing some concern that 'a 27 versus reflex doesn't hit him?' on another character's miss. 'It would have hit me', he continues.

'That's duly noted', replies Krafft, 'and I shall file that useful information away for future back-stabbing chicanery.' It's always important to know your enemy.

Lavinia, the priestess who has asked us to find her chum who has apparently gone missing, sends a scamp to find us relaxing in the inn, where Gruknal is seeing how many pints of ale his poison resistance 5 allows him to drink. The scamp tugs on Adran's tunic and urges us to go to the shrine where Lavinia awaits us. With the promise of no reward and not really caring where her friend is, how can we resist? We amble off towards the shrine.

When we get close to the shrine we are startled to see Lavinia running towards us, a panicked look on her face and dagger in hand, being chased by those she has accused of being suspiciously involved in her friend's disappearance. It certainly looks like something untowards is happening. She heads in the direction of Adran, who takes any opportunity to grab a female and tries to comfort her. It must be his famous charm, because Lavinia clearly isn't calmed and instead strikes her dagger in to his back, drawing a cry of pain from our elven ranger.

With a shift in features it becomes apparent that the creature crawling over Adran isn't Lavinia at all but a doppelganger, catching us by surprise, much to Adran's pains. The attack by the doppelganger puts us in to the traditional dilemma as voiced by Krafft, 'which one do we attack?'

'What do you mean?', cries out Adran, squirming backwards from the blow from the dagger, 'she still has the form of Lavinia and looks nothing like me!'

'Well, yes, but she clearly has keen instincts to attack you, almost in tune with our own. She could be a good addition to the party. If only we had more time to think!' Because of the pressure in needing to make a quick decision we pick the devil we know over the devil we don't and defend Adran, defeating the doppelganger and fake priests. The real Lavinia is found tied and gagged behind the altar of the shrine after the fight.

On the positive side, we now have evidence of a possible conspiracy in the city and have some kind of motivation to pursue a greater goal than finding a missing person.

Taking some leisure time from conning the city in to thinking it is being attacked so we can rescue it and get a reward, we get a call of help from a run-down neighbourhood's church. Hoping for some adventure and treasure we visit the church to talk to a priestess called Lavinia to find out what dire emergency awaits our attention.

'My friend, Halyn, has gone missing!', Lavinia sobs, 'She's been gone for two weeks and someone dubious has taken over her duties at the shrine.' Oh. And what reward might you be offering for finding your friend? 'This is but a poor church, so...' I think she said something else, but I have pulled my 25,000 gold cloak over my head at this point.

Only 'But I'm lawful good!' Gruknal shows much interest in taking on this humanitarian task. Even half-orc Krafft understands that 'the most important time for detective work in finding a missing person is performed within 24 hours of the disappearance. She's probably dead. Case closed. Back to the inn?'

However, after a bit more discussion Krafft has a change of heart. 'We must find her!' Maybe his worship for the Raven Queen compels him to feel compassion for a damsel in distress, or perhaps he can sense a deeper conspiracy at work. 'I must have an opportunity to work "Halyn back" in to a sentence.'

It has been many months since the adventuring party prevented the opening of the rift in the Keep on Shadowfell. Only Gruknal the dwarf fighter with clerical powers and elven ranger Adran remain of the original party, now in the paragon tier at 14th level. During their continued adventures they have met up with Krafft, a half-orc avenger, and Velma, an elven druid who prefers to spend most of her time in beast form, favouring the shape of a badger.

Even though we are working together our adventures have not been terribly successful. We may have fought back a some terrible monsters from attacking the city we currently call home but, to be honest, those fights were mostly staged to make us look more competent than perhaps we are. And our recent expedition to the elemental plane of fire to find the perfect cocktail was nothing short of a disaster, if only because of a lack of ice.

Our collective languishing in the morass of adequate adventurers is probably explained when we try to find out who the brains of the operation is, by comparing our intelligence scores. It turns out that, despite our other redeeming qualities, we all have an intelligence of 9, somewhat below an average person.

However, Adran has to take the prize as most stupid member of the party, if only because he initially had an intelligence of 8 until the intellectual greats amongst us point out that this is an impossibility at 14th level. You have to admire his dediction to role-playing, though.

We face a dilemma like nothing we've encountered before. We have fought dragons, nearly thrown ourselves at gelatinous cubes, and almost killed each other several times, but now it is serious. The brains of our party are either sitting in the GM's chair or absent, how are we to make any progress!

It may sound a melodramatic claim but it certainly seems like some of us are consistently better at finding sensible and suitable solutions to problems, whereas the rest of us have trouble with basic maths sometimes. Never the less, we try not to be daunted by having no guiding hand to help us and press on.

We have uncovered information about where robotics are being delivered and have travelled there to investigate. Admittedly, it was those absent who successfully gathered the information about this location in the first place, but surely the hard work is done and all that's left is a big fight. If only that were that simple.

The location turns out to be a bookshop, the tradesman's entrance leading in to the shop's stockroom. All looks normal. One of us thinks that there must be a secret room hidden behind a bookcase and starts tugging at books in the 'robotics' section to find the trigger that will swivel the bookcase around, but only succeeds in pulling a big pile of heavy books down on himself.

I decide to question one of the assistants to find out where the deliveries get dropped off. 'In the stockroom', I am told. Right, thanks. The stockroom still looks completely normal.

Another thinks that we should hang around until a really nerdy worker turns up, as he will no doubt be the one assembling the parts in to celebrity-replacing robots, until we point out that we are in a bookshop and just about everyone looks like a nerd.

Our final party member asks the assistant if anyone else works here, trying to uncover the nefarious head of whatever organisation is using the bookshop as a front, but this cunning scheme falters when the assistant, looking rather nonplussed, points to the woman working on the till next to him.

It seems all is lost, we have exhausted our problem-solving capabilities and end up scratching our heads about what to do next. It is only fifteen minutes in to the session that I realise one particularly obvious path has not been explored, although it almost feels like clutching at straws after all the ingenious yet failed ideas so far. 'I search the stockroom.'

'During your search you move a trolley holding some books to reveal a trapdoor.'

I really hope we don't have many more absences like this of certain group members, it's embarrassing for the rest of us.

I am loitering in Dalaran waiting for the portal to be opened to Lake Wintergrasp, in a full raid of people eager to assault the fortress and displace the Horde defenders. Getting a little impatient, and wondering if I could grab some ore from Wintergrasp before the battle begins, I ride to Krasus's Landing and jump on my winged steed of the Ebon Blade, flying west towards the zone of Wintergrasp.

Whilst I have perhaps left it a little late to do any serious mining before the battle begins I am able to land in Wintergrasp about ten seconds before the portal opens back in Dalaran, so instead of looking for ore I take point and ride towards the fortress.

Just as I am about to attack a couple of NPCs, to help boost my rank quickly, I spot a titanium node appear on my mini-map. Distracted by how shiny it is I veer sharply away from the NPCs and head to mine the ore. It is a little disappointing to see a blood elf reach the node first, but this is a PvP zone and ore is not gathered until mining completes, which can be interrupted.

I cast death grip on the blood elf, pulling him violently away from the node and to my position. In fact, he is pulled to my previous position, as I continue running towards the titanium even as I cast chains of ice to shackle the blood elf behind me. Of course, he is not going to accept my own claim to the titanium node and prepares some ranged attacks to interrupt me in return.

Unfortunately for the blood elf our little exchange has consumed the ten second lead I had and my death grip pulled him in to the path of two rampaging Alliance raid groups, which fall on him like locusts on wheat. I wish I could have seen the look on his face, but I was busy putting some titanium ore in my backpack.

We have hijacked Adam West's Batmobile and Henry Rollins's Humvee and are chasing after a van driven by our arch-enemies The Foot, who have a kidnapped Kate Beckinsale with them. With deft driving of the Batmobile by Casey, some acrobatics in and out of the van by the turtles, and an unfortunate ditching of the Humvee The Foot are eventually beaten up and thrown out of the van.

Kate Beckinsale, now safely rescued, is dropped off at a hospital leaving us free to get to the bottom of the kidnapping. 'I shall look for clues.'

'What are you looking for?', asks the GM.

'Clues.' After being a bit more active in our search, some digging in the glove compartment reveals a GPS device. By punching on some likely looking buttons we soon find a highlighted address that should provide us with more information to thwart whatever Shredder is up to this time.

Despite being of draenei ancestry I find there are benefits to have been brought to Azeroth. Whilst our Elekk mounts are big and powerful creatures they are not as elegant as I would like, so it was exciting to see that the night elves nearby had trained sabre cats as mounts. I moved on from Bloodmyst Isle early to work more closely with the elves, learning about their culture and helping their citizens and military alike. My work paid off, earning exalted reputation with Darnassus and being able to ride a big cat.

My adventuring subsequently took me to the Plaguelands, through the Dark Portal and then to the cold land of Northrend, although my relationship with the night elves was not forgotten. However, I was surprised to find out that all of my later adventures had improved relations significantly with the other Alliance factions, putting me half-way through revered for humans, gnomes and dwarfs alike. It seems that only a bit more effort would see my reputation be raised to exalted with the Alliance as a whole, which must be worth attempting.

There is one task that might dissuade me from achieving my goal, so I take it on first to see if it would stop me, thinking it would be better to find out sooner rather than later. I agree with the King of the Gnomes to enter his capital to displace the leper gnome colony with which it is now infected. Gnomeregan always seemed sprawling and dangerous in the past but at 78th level, where I can run through mobs without attracting hostile repercussions, it is much smaller than I remember and the usurper boss is despatched efficiently. I am off to a good start.

With Gnomeregan behind me I turn my attention towards the humans of Stormwind. Knifey was happy with getting exalted with Stormwind for his pony and the areas of Westfall and Duskwood are gloriously full of interesting quests, making it an enjoyable romp at any level. I even turn my attention to the starter zone, early in the morning to avoid interfering with new heroes, and the wealth of opportunities available makes reaching exalted with the humans swift.

I head towards Dun Morogh for reputation with the dwarfs next, becoming exalted with Ironforge being another goal Knifey managed. It must be somewhat more fulfilling to achieve exalted reputations whilst levelling at the same time but it is still a rewarding goal at any level. Another quick visit to the starting zone and working through Dun Morogh and most of the somewhat tedious Wetlands content is enough to increase my Ironforge reputation to exalted, not needing to enter Uldaman this time thanks to plenty of reputation gains from the past thirty levels.

Working on my reputation with the dwarfs also helps my standings with the gomes, as they share the same starting region, although not enough to earn me exalted repuation with Gnomeregan, something even Knifey didn't achieve, and he's a gnome. Rather than attempt to find further gnomish quests I instead turn my attention back to my heritage and return to Bloodmyst Isle to finish what I started many months ago. There are plentiful quests to keep me occupied whilst working for my people and it is good to be 'home' for a while, after spending so long away in a violent world. With so many tasks to complete reaching exalted reputation with the Exodar is simple if a little time-consuming, leaving only Gnomeregan reputation to increase.

I now realise another side-effect of gaining so much reputation. Whilst questing on Bloodmyst Isle with three other Alliance factions at their maximum exalted level the sympathetic reputation gains are being applied more strongly towards Gnomeregan, as diplomatic relations between the Alliance races mean reputation gains with one faction cause a smaller increase with the other factions. Instead of having to return to the Eastern Kingdoms to work for the gnomes it looks like completing a few more quests with the draenei will be enough to achieve my objective and, sure enough, without having to work with the cloth quartermasters throughout my endeavour, I reach exalted status with Gnomeregan ere long.

With reaching the exalted reputation level with all five Alliance factions—Darnassus, Stormwind, Ironforge, Exodar and Gnomeregan—comes a special distinction. I am bestowed with the 'Ambassador of the Alliance' achievement, which also comes with the title of 'Ambassador'. I feel duly proud of my accomplishment and I am happy for the world to see me as Ambassador Sapphire.

I've been hit by the meme stick, Mr Smackendahed, of Random Ogre Thoughts, granting this site the Honest Scrap award. It might not sound like much but it's being offered by an ogre, so I had better jolly well accept it, and graciously.

I suppose it was only a matter of time before my brilliance was awarded, although I was happy just to be nominated. I would like to thank the producers, without whom none of this would have been possible, and my editor, who may seem entirely fictional but I assure you catches the occasional typographical error.

In the spirit of the meme I am to tag other sites for being excellent and post ten honest notes about myself. I shall forgo the tagging, if only because everyone I read appears to have been tagged already. However, I shall update my links to reflect my current reading, all of which is thoroughly entertaining and informative. I'd particularly recommend the blog of the mentioned ogre, as he chronicles his group's progress through some interesting and involved adventures.

As for ten honest notes about myself, well, I'm not sure. One thing I know is that I work better with structure than free-form, so instead of straining to think of anything interesting I shall instead open up the comments section for any questions, to which I shall reply with honest answers where I can.